Waiting for the Private Villages

Watched Notting Hill

Yet again

Have waited all life

To enter gardens

Which are ‘ private villages ‘

With a bench

Perched inside a bush

Our names floating

On the white bars

Some people do spend

All their life together

Yes some

Not the practical ones

Only the romancers

Ready to fight ,kiss

And make up

No grudges to cramp

Love

No wanderlust to escape

Love

The garden

All their space

No cage

But a private village

Still looking for it

Long after

You scaraped away my name

From the perch

You had created for me

Inside your being

And yes

I remember

‘ you will live

In my stomach ‘

You had told me ,then

Now dwells in your stomach

A poison tree

With my name tag

And am still

Standing where time had

Offered me a dream

Of gardens

Which were private villages

With our names

On a white bench

The Women Inside

Coercion won’t force
Them down
Deception can’t
Stifle them
Emptiness fails to
Harden their lush dreams
Into frigid flakes of indifference
I try to keep them
Imprisoned
For your sake
But they spill
Out of my palm
Defying destiny
The women in me
They want all
Your silence
Does not snub them

 

Alone , again

Love and need

Mingle

And I want nothing more

Than you to hold me

Hugs and kisses

Frank talks

And the trips that were

The laughter and the tears

The tuneless songs

We used to sing all night

Am selfish

Loneliness and a life

Without your presence

Scare me

The fear has power

Fathomless

I have no one

And will have no one

After you leave

But I see you laugh

Like sunshine

With your friends

I hear you talk

To your love on phone

In the wee hours

Of night, behind closed doors

In mellifluous tones

I find you missing

From all moments

I need you

I watch you run away

With increased frequency

From anything

And everything

That is me

I know

With pain

That you are already gone

One year

You worked all you could

To increase the distance

Between us

And I know

When you set your heart

On something

Or away from someone

Nothing can come

In your way

All my efforts

Anger , sadness , pleas

Have turned into

Dry sand

Slipping away

Drifting far off

And I know

I cannot stop you

You are already gone

Am all alone

Once again

Out in the wilderness

All by myself

The heart wants to stop

But it beats on

Each thud

An atomisation of me

The release evades

I spread my empty

Soul naked

Looking at God

And I wait

In silence

 

Loud Silence

Your silence

Screams loud

So voluble

So portent

Drowning all my words

Clouding all meaning

Its radiance erased

Streak by streak

The unsaid words

Fill my world with

Malicious stench

Each breath an ugly whisper

Each pulse beat –

Sheer helplessness

Uncouth Nights

That night

My old phone

Etched new lines

Of destiny in my palm

A landscape

Of romance and thrill

We chatted whole night

So much to share

Many smiles to gift

To each other

And the dawn

Changed my being

My life forever

History repeats itself

They say

You lie awake

Behind closed doors

Talking to your

New destiny

Entire night

While I lie awake

Trying to bear the

Flooding in my heart

Drowning

Consoling myself

‘ Beggars cannot be choosers ‘

Murder

Deceptions

Don’t swallow you whole

The erosion is slow

And

You see yourself

Being wasted

Heartbeat by heartbeat

You hear the crunch

Of those beastly fangs

Sinking deep into your soul

Savouring the bloody chunk

That was once your heart

The loud guffaws of triumph

Tear through

All you held close

All you thrived on

The gloating guile

Sucks away all

There is no hatred within

Only pain and confusion

The why has no answers

The screams bring

No help

You just wait

For the final blow

And the oblivion beyond