Posted in Jottings, Poetry

Masks

No

I don’t hate you

Because you are gay

I don’t mock at you

Am no moral messiah

We could have been

Best of friends

Caring and respectful

Laughing together

At the narrow minded

Gay haters

But

My heart screams only

Fear and pain

And disgust

I cannot laugh at

The gay jokes you share

With your boy friends

I resent the loving times

You spend with them

My entire soul drowns

In its own murky sadness

I didn’t ask for it

I didn’t know

Not my fault

Am a woman

Your wife

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Posted in Jottings, Poetry

No Hell Like This

Death incarnate

That is who you are

Ghoulish , creepy , brutal

In all its heinous extremes

Concrete within

Asphaltic without

My Kaal

My sins unforgiven

My agony invigorated

” Am your moksha

Your Messiah

We are meant

To Be !”

How right you were !

My very own

Customised Waterloo

There can be

No hell after this

Only Moksha !

Screams getting louder

And silent

Rage boiling

To most pitiful

Submission

Oh the headaches !

Matching the

Heartbreaks in

Deafening cacophony

The urge to kill myself

The will to fight back

The yearning to plead

Swirling in a vortex

So dense

It de – oxyegenates all

All of me

All of mine

All of human and humanity

Unleashing

The hydra headed monster

That you are

You were

And will always be

Posted in Jottings, Poetry

Spider

” Gratitude will

Never be yours

For all the goodness

You are !”

That old man

The astrologer

Had said

Decades ago

But

Never told that

I would receive

Stabs in the back

Humiliations

Deceptions

And abuses instead

From unexpected quarters

From those

I held close to my heart

And trusted with my soul

Accusations poisonous

To the hilt

And insults

Ornamented

In the grimiest filth

But nothing

Had prepared me

For what you hurled at me

Today

” You are a spider

Ensnaring me

In the most cunning

Cobweb ”

So now I cannot sleep

Eyes a battleground

For tears , again

Sleeping pills fail

Heartburn robustly awake

I want to hug you

Tell you how wrong

You are

But the spikes around you

Ward off all

Kill all

I drink some water

Pat the dog

Say a prayer

Write a poem

And lie down

Wishing

The dawn should hurry

Posted in Jottings, Poetry

Cunning Murder

There is a new killer

On rampage

No weapon , no poison

Only eroding

All

By insanity

Cunningness

Megalomania

Evil intent

With smoothness

Of an experienced artist

Leaving the victim

Broken within

Pushed against

A granite wall

Gasping for breath

Wriggling and writhing

In pain so intense

It burns all sanity

And the murder happens

By own will

By own hand

Posted in Jottings, photo story, Poetry

Death , Finally

So that day

She finally died

After a lifetime of

Being bullied

By closest one

Being hated ,rejected

Neglected and

Trampled upon

Like a rag doll

For thoughts she didn’t think

Sins she didn’t commit

She was only a mirror

Reflecting the evil

Within one who

Looked at her

She was stoned

For other’s sins

Burnt at the pyre

Of greed , ego and madness

Another innocent soul

Another loving heart

Blamed for that

What was wrong in others

Chewed hollow

Till nothing

Remained palpable

But she so wanted to live

To laugh , dance and sing

To travel to far away lands

To breathe in

All that was oxygen

All that was love

To crack silly jokes

To hug and kiss

To find and explore

To learn how to swim

How to ride

To adopt another dog

To celebrate another festival

She loved life

She lived love

Finally she died That day

Or was it night ?

Memory fades

As breath stutters

And the curtain closes

Gone now

After a lifetime of abuse

At the hands

Which she held to live

To survive

She so wanted to live

Posted in Jottings, photo story, Poetry

Away

Sometimes the mountains

Just eat you up

All that is fine is foggy

All that is kind is harsh

You lose trust In goodness

In people who mean well

The isolation hypnotises

You to see only the dark

The rocks harden the heart

The wind takes you

Far far away From reality

Movement becomes a habit

And you don’t stay

You only walk away

Breaking others

Into fragments

Never to be a whole again

Sometimes

The mountains eat you up

Posted in Jottings, photo story, Poetry

Tilted

 

dsc_0536-011838068817.jpegPropped in my bed
With suffocating quilts
And overpowering
Heating pads
The dim light sapping all
The cold crawling
Into every atom within
Loneliness the sole companion
I wonder why my compass
Took such a wild turn
Why cruelty is so kind to me
What triggered the wild
Holocaust of all I stand for
Why love always a stillborn
And I dream of open spaces
Of trees and birds
Blue skies and grass
Of the freedom
I once had
Of the momentum of life
Once so alive
Answers confuse
The question marks
Get deeper
Resignation subdues all
My soul contracts
With intense pain
As the last breath
Becomes a cherished escape

Posted in photo story

Christmas Hope

Another Christmas

Another time to love

To forgive and to give

This time

Let us become big

In hearts rather than gifts

Point fingers not outwards

But inwards

Forgive rather than blame

Go WE rather than I

Trust again

And above all

Be loving , loyal and kind to

All those who we think

Don’t deserve our empathy

Embrace all those

Who are lonely

Within and without

Let money take the back seat

Let Love reign supreme .

Merry Christmas to all

That is alive

And pulsating in

The Universe

Magical revival for all

That is fading or dismal

Love and hugs

Do keep me in your prayers